Pride in Texas

I live in Texas. And if you’ve been paying any attention to the news lately, you probably know that ‘gay’ and ‘Texas’ don’t go well together.

I live about 30 miles away from a Westb0r0 Baptist church wanna-be called St3dfast Baptist. (I don’t want this article to show up in google searches for those hateful places). 

You may have seen clips of their sermons on TikTok. In the most recent one, a pastor called for queer people to be “lined up and shot in the back of the head”. And no, he wasn’t being metaphorical.

He wasn’t suggesting his congregation do this personally. He’d much rather the government kill us. According to this bigot, being gay is such a grievous crime that it deserves the death penalty. Although, apparently lethal injection is too good for us.

Yes, there are protesters. 

I’m in a Facebook group of queer people who have been fighting against this congregation for months. They gather outside their services each week to protest. And it has made a difference. They’ve gotten the church evicted from their building once. But it didn’t shut them down. The church simply moved to another strip mall. Yes, we have strip mall churches here. There’s a church on just about every corner in my community.

So protestors gather across the parking lot in their rainbow shirts holding their signs each week. 

I admire what they’re doing. But I worry about their safety. Some gun-toting Christian might decide to take matters into his own hands and carry out his pastor’s wishes. And then we’ll have another mass shooting to add to the rapidly growing list.

And of course, we have lawmakers and politicians like Greg Abbott and Ted Cruz spouting hatred toward our community pretty regularly as well. There were 30 anti-LGBTQ+ bills introduced in Texas during this legislative session.(1) Gratefully, all were defeated. But I don’t expect that the attacks are over.

It’s discouraging to be sure. The LGBTQ+ community has become more respected and has been given more of the rights we deserve during the past few years. But now that republican politics have gone so far off the rails, the hateful right-wing religious folks have turned their attention back our way again.

I think I underestimate how much it bothers me.

This is Pride month. And what should be a time of joy and celebration of our identities and how far we’ve come — a time to celebrate those who came before and fought the bigotry and hatred — feels a bit tainted. 

I’ve gone to a couple of activities. And for the very first time, I’ve felt unsafe in queer spaces. Not because of the queer people. There is nothing like being in the midst of a rainbow-covered crowd. It’s the most safe and at-home I ever feel.

But this year was different.

You probably heard about that Uhaul, full of white dudes geared up for battle and headed for a Pride event in Iowa. They were stopped by a single 911 call and some fast action by local police. But it could have been a nightmare.

I worry for my safety. I worry for my kids’ safety. It’s hard to live in a community where I don’t feel accepted. To spend time around relatives I don’t feel safe enough to be authentic with.

Why not move? Honestly, we probably will. I need to hang out here one more year while one of my kids finishes high school. And then we’ll likely pack up and go. I’ll be here long enough to do my part to help get Beto elected governor. But I think I’ve about had enough.

My queer kids and I deserve to be safe. We deserve to feel accepted. We ALL do.

As white woman, of course I think of all the other marginalized communities who have dealt with this bullshit for a lot longer than I have. It’s not right. None of us should have to worry about our safety because of our gender, sexual orientation, skin color, religion, or anything else. 

There’s no hate like Christian love.

Yes, I know that’s a harsh statement. Yes, I know “not all Christians”. But if you’re thinking “well, the people who do that aren’t real Christians”, I encourage you to examine that a bit.

These Christians have undoubtedly prayed the sinner’s prayer and accepted Jesus as their savior. They show up at church every week. Maybe they even read their Bibles and pray every single day. I have no doubt they are absolutely convinced that speaking out against gay people is exactly what God wants them to do.

The Christians who killed countless indigenous people and did their best to destroy that rich culture thought the same thing. So did the ones from the Crusades, right? Even kids in Sunday school learn to sing about how they’re “in the Lord’s army”.

I understand how it works. I was a Christian for decades. And I certainly never thought of myself as hateful. I was just speaking out for what was right. I was standing up for righteousness — pleasing God. The world was lost. And it was my job to let them know it. I offered “hope”, not hate.

But it looks a lot different from the other side. So I’ll say it again. There’s no hate like Christian love.