Don’t Forget to Notice How Far You’ve Come
Coming out as an adult is hard. You have so much to work though, figure out, and overcome.
You may be dealing with…
😕 A mixed-orientation marriage and coming out to your spouse.
😕 A non-affirming religious community and the deconstruction of your beliefs.
😕 Family members, relatives, or friends who just don’t understand.
😕 Your own internalized homophobia or transphobia.
😕 Processing your past and coming to terms with why it took you so long to figure yourself out.
It’s so easy to get so caught up in all this that we forget to take time to reflect on the good things — like how it feels to live out loud. Or the freedom that comes with not hiding from yourself. Or the new relationships you’ve developed in the queer community.
Well, I did some reflecting today. It wasn’t at all planned. I just had a moment, right after a Zoom call.
I’m part of a writing group — a lovely, queer, supportive group that is headed toward becoming part of my chosen family. And we had a call today.
We shared victories and celebrated with each other. We talked about the book Gender Queer and the impact it has had on all of us. We made plans for the future and how we can support each other in our writing endeavors.
And when I got off the call, I felt a wave of appreciation wash over me. And I thought…
😊 I can’t believe this is my life.😊
Less than three years ago I was:
Deluding myself into thinking I was straight.
Trapped by a religion that condemns my deepest identity.
Struggling with a job that didn’t fit me at all.
Living in a house I couldn’t afford.
Striving to be the person my mom taught me I should be.
It was exhausting. And I wasn’t happy.
And now I look at my life with all the changes and challenges I’ve overcome, with all the decisions I’ve made to choose what’s right for me instead of what’s expected of me.
I sold my house and moved into an apartment I can afford. I quit my burdensome job and became a full-time writer. I left and then deconstructed a religion that caused me nothing by anxiety. And I have embraced my sexuality.
I still have a lot I want to do. And I know I have wounds that haven’t healed and lots growth waiting for me.
But it felt so good to take a moment and reflect. To stop striving and focusing on goals and my own personal expectations and just appreciate how far I’ve come.
My life isn’t perfect. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got ISSUES. But I’ve also come a long way.
As we draw near to Pride month, I encourage you to take a moment to look at how far you’ve come — even if you’re still in the messy middle. You’ve done incredible things. You’ve overcome so much. And I think you’re amazing.💓
